Struggletown - population - ME!

I have had the starting’s of a real funk this week.  Work has been a real drag with motivation at an all-time low, just a general feeling of lack of purpose really [but that is a whole other issue or blog ;)]. That said it has impacted on my personal drive this week….

After the fantastic run with Karen on the weekend I really expected to be on a high. I was pumped from the run, it wasn’t as far as my “normal” Sunday runs and as such I thought I would be full of energy for the next run and life was good. We had a good friend around on Sunday, he has been travelling and it had been a few months since the last time we hung out and he was lost for words at the change in me through the lifestyle changes that I have made to the point that he claims to have been inspired into dusting off his runners and getting out there too…

[I don’t know what it is but I still feel a little embarrassed when people make a fuss about the change that has happened for me. Yes I am proud and pleased of the change but I guess I feel saddened by the fact that I was “that” big that it has been that noticeable.]

Overall I was on a high, I put up my 2013 challenge on the blog and even did my first ever race recap. Then my mind took over……the old enemy that is “ME”.

It seems that I always seem to doubt and sabotage myself at every turn, especially once I publicis things. WHY? So because I get praise from a close friend and publish to the world my aims/goals I decide that all motivation and drive needs to evade me completely! Am I supposed to keep it all secret and not publicise these challenges/facts? NO!

So this morning (24hours AFTER my scheduled run) I dragged my carcass grudgingly out of bed to the bathroom. Wasted 20 mins in the bathroom all the while having an internal debate about going back to bed! Even once my teeth were brushed and I was pulling on my runners I was thinking about going back to bed (well it was 5:30) but I somehow turned off my brain and went into auto-pilot mode (not really knowingly but I did in any case) and made my way outside and stretched and ran!

Boy did I run. I did not plan on smashing times/kms I was glad just to get out there and put one foot in front of the other. By the time I looked at my watch about 3 kms in I was flying with an average pace of 4:55! AFTER 3KMS!! So I kept on going…5KMS @ 4:56/km!! and finished at 7kms at 4:57/km. The first time in my running history that I have done a run (of any length) in under 5mins per km!!!

I guess the moral of the story is to banish self-doubt and be your own best motivator. Even if you only get out there and walk around the block you will at least have been out there and got it done!